My Slightly Sideways Look At Life And Trucking In Canada/US

The spelling mistakes add to the charm of this Blog..!! A Blog is like a woman..???? you start at the bottom and work your way up,,,!!!!!

Für min chumpels üs di schwiitz, nim da google übersetze

Just go to Google Translatehttp://translate.google.com/translate_t



Sunday, April 27, 2008

Here's A Brain Teaser..

Iv'e mentioned before,that some times i just dont understand what the yanks and canuks are talking about...!!! And that Kim my boss send me text messages that leave me totally bewilderd,so much so that a simple instruction becomes a major disscusion...
To set the scene;-
I was heading north from Fargo ND back home,cross the border and tranship my load onto one of our other trailers,,,easy peasy. And all i needed to know was where to tranship....why i botherd to ask is beyond me,,, the texts went something like this..

Me,, HI KIM WHERE DO I TRANSHIP THEN
Kim,, at pauls yard
Me,, TO SMALL CANT READ THAT
Kim,, AT PAULS YARD
Me,, OK,, WHO'S PAUL
Kim,, FROM EMERSON TRANS.
Me,, OK,, WHER'S THAT THEN
Kim,, IN EMERSON,,WOTZ YA ETA
Me,, 16,03... BUT STILL DONT KNOW WHERE PAULS PLACE IS ??
Kim.. ITS KITTYCORNER FROM THE LOT

At this point i nearly crashed and was getting anoyed,,but kept my calm and tried to program my TOMTOM navigation system with this worthless info,,,TOMTOM had never heard of a kittycorner in Emerson..

Me,, WHER'S KITTYCORNER IN EMERSON ??
Kim,, WHERE THE BISON TRAILERS ARE
Me,, AH HA ACROSS THE ROAD FROM OUR TRAILER LOT
Kim,, YES

Now to explain, Kittycorner means daigonaly across from something, never heard of it?? nor had i,,???? just another example of how our two languages differ,,

Took A Quick Dump In Minneapolis ????

These titles are getting worse and worse....

Two stocking filler loads first the long pipes and now 45,000lbs of bulk spuds in a reefer... what will they think of next...
I'm only putting this post up to demonstrate how one unloads 45,ooolbs of spuds loose in the trailer in 1 foul swoop....



firstly place trailer on dock and unhitch the tractor.

then by using my secret powers i start to lift the trailer..... ive moved on from bending spoons

it takes great concentration and mental ability to lift such a weight..... yep.. he's mental all right..!!!!

wish i could unload every time like this...woo.hoo

A Quick Long One ????


Well that title could be miss leading..????


It just means i did a "stocking filler " load to round of the week only 1400 miles and a long load of pipes...


Saturday, April 26, 2008

Playing Catch Up On My Blog..

Due to popular demand i shall continue to write more ....Oh bugger and we'd thought this toture was over..
Well it aint..
So whats been happening in the life of Gremmie,,,well his love life has its ups and downs,,,,usually in short bursts so he dont get tired lol..work is going well,,doing mile after mile,and i still dont under stand half the stuff the bosses wife says to me,,,we had another text chat,,OMG
Well my love life get interupted by work,,,truckus interuptus,,so i have to leave the poor gals waiting and praying for my swift return as they all " Just love that British accent",,,my good looks,charm and personality are not of intrest...they just want me to talk alot ????.. is this then Canadain oral sex ????
Now for the proper news.!!!
Ok lets get down to the interesting info that fills the pages of my blog.
Took a bulk load of spuds down to Cincinnati for a sunday morning delivery,so a bit of a race leaving Canada friday evening,its 1200 miles one way,,so a hard push,more than a race,.
nope,, it was more like going hell for leather for 2 days..
Then saturday evening on entering Cincinnati i took a wrong turn off and ended up by the ball park in the middle of the city,so i enjoyed the sites of this very pretty town..the saturday nite revellers didn't go a bundle on me cruissin up and down the strip tho...oops
Spuds came out of the trailer in pretty quick time sunday morn,which left me all day to play and do as i pleased,my reload was 50 miles away in Carrollton Kentucky on monday.
So headed up to the Flying J truck stop,where i noticed that my left exhaust stack was falling off,,,my truck is brand new,and if any thing else falls off it'll look like Fred Flinstones car... so sought of fixed that with a couple of bungies..

Deepfried in Carrollton Kentucky
I took a slow meander down to this small pleasant down,nestling on the banks of thee mighty Ohio river,unhitched my trailer and went in search of a hostelry to quench my thirst and partake off the famouse Kentucky Chicken...
I just seem to have the luck of the gods when it comes to finding a place to eat and drink,The Carrollton Inn and Hotel is the only establishment in a 100 mile radius that sells alchahol and food on a sunday...Woo Hoo..
So with a large platter of fried chicken and a beer i started to chat with the natives,,,this entails alot of hand waiving and sign language as they dont speak english..???
Point of fact to prove that they dont speak english :- there was an ederly very pale gent sat next to me, he was deaply engrossed in his laptop,and hadn't utterd a word in over an hour. When he suddenly turns to me and says " hey sonny ,u kindah speak iinglish,howdya spell shoardy"
it didn't help much that when he spoke his dentures came loose and he had to suck/slurp them back into his mouth,,
"shoardy"??? sorry i dont know what that is...little did the old fella know that my spelling is really bad,,but then again he's never read my blog
"Yeaha SHOARDY," he pronounced again...????? my brain started to hurt.. "a fellaw that aint to tawll""
"Oh you mean shorty",, "hooly shit boy,thats wot i bin sayin,,ya'all talk like ya got a plum in ya mouff"
So i told him how,and he continued to suck on his dentures,which ruined my appertite a bit..
I left the hotel round 8ish as i had some sleepin to catch up on.

The Train Graveyard:
Loaded the next morn then headed across to Mt. Vernon Il to pick up some more freight,2 train exhausts in a place that no rail buff would want to visit..



Well atleast they recycle most of them ???


So i trundled back home, enjoying the beautiful country side,,,hope you like the views too


Just A Bit Of Fun....

Tried out the video function on my Cam..and thought i'd show you what i have for breakfast..

Shame it wasn't Lyndon in his nice new truck.....dam and drat

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Winnipeg to Chicago,Sth. Windsor,Bronx,Washington and Back via Virginia

Did a slightly different route this last trip,instead of taking the carpet machines direct to the importer,i made his delivery's...
So first drop was friday in a suburb of Chicago,nothig particulary interesting there,traffic jams are the same the world over. A pain in a truckers butt !!! and worse than hemeroids ...
Checked my maps and navigation system to plan a way to Conect to cut ??? (1000 miles farther east) must do some thing about my spelling... Connecticut.. So i avoided all toll roads and took Hwy 30 then a few other roads up to Soth Windsor... Which i'm glad i did..
On Hwy 30 is the town of Upper Sandhusky ,,,i realy dont make these names up..

Jammie Oliver eat ya heart out..???
It was friday nite and all was well in Upper Sandhusky,till Spirit 34 and her multi talented driver stopped at the local gas station, for a leak,,, just opposite was a pub and resturant..
So parked and groomed for a nite out in Upper Sandhusky i strolled through the drizzle to partake of the local brew and sample what culinary delights that might be on offer..In the US all you can get to eat are burgers,ribs, wings and steaks,with 20 variations on a potatoe,,,
Upper sandhusky has a pub that sells FOOD,,!!!! and bloody good food too...Woo hoo.. lots of O's in that last sentance..???
So after a long read of the menu and a glass of Samual Adams beer..thats not very american..
I chose a plate of a fish grattin and pasta...mmmmmmm yummy... Served by a very attractive and friendly blonde waitress....mmmmmmm yummy..... Who just loved my "Very Brittish accent" as did the barman,,??? the owner,the drunk in the corner,and the couple at the end of the bar.
Well one thing lead to another and we all got slightly drunk,and got on to the subject of food,when the cook joined our party...
I like to cook,,,not allways to well,, so our party adjerned to the kitchen where i with the chef made Portabello mushrooms sauteed in butter and fresh garlic with a garlic sauce and beef medilons..We had great fun cooking and eating and drinking till 2am...its nights like this that make my job such fun... my bill for the nite was 13.75$,,, plus hangover,free of charge..
Woke some time saturday,and dashed for a pee,then a coffee...!!!!!
I left Upper sandhusky,still a little sleepy,heading to Akron then farther east,,,only 600 miles to go...Oh my poor head..

Found Yogi
Driving here you tend to see lots of wild animals,unfortunatly mostly dead ones hit by cars and trucks. But saturday i saw my first wild bear,where i hear you ask,on the central median of a busy interstate near the Pennsylvania/ New York state line,,,so yogi has mooved from Jellowstone to NY..

Traffic volumes here are more like those of Europe,so i kept both eyes open,, I found Sth Windsor and my customer for monday with no problem,and with a light snack and a good read went to bed .
Sunday was slightly over cast,so strolled arround the local Mall,replenished my in cab supplies and found Hooters,,,scantly clad busty females in orange hotpants..so a plate full,and eyefull..of ribs in front of me i watched a NASCAR race on one of the 25 TV's.
Offloaded monday morn and set off for THE BRONX NY,well the tales of gang wars,muggings etc. might be true but i found and saw none off them. Yes its a slummy area,but which city doesn't have one ???
The drive to Washington was far more pearilous, they have so called "Expressways" ?? never heard offem??? nor i .. But you aint allowed on them with a truck,,,Oooops.. so i got off again,only to end up in Fort Meade millitary barracks...Oooops.. But the sentry was very friendly and understanding as i pulled up in front of his pillar box,he even after a short chat removed his rifle from my left nostrill.
I eventualy found my drop in Washington,monday evening. So of for a chinesse.
The Pimp and his Big Mama
Searching for a place to eat monday eve,i found a small mall with verious eateries.Pizza hut,Huddle corner,,yes ther's a food chain called Huddle corner..!!!! and a China garden. Locking Spirit 34 i heard an argument between a large volluptiuos coloured girl and a very pimpish looking "Brother" I'll save you the dialog as it would all have to be censored,but what happend next had me rolling on the floor with laughter..
Their fight calmed down a bit,he opend the door to his very dodgy looking Pontiac,she sat in the passenger seat and slammed the door,he gunned the motor,,,VROOOM,,VROOOM,,, BANG,,!!
He gunned that motor for the last time,smoke and flames now billowed out of the bonnet,great plumes of smoke in fact.. I used to be in the fire brigade in Switzerland,,so i did as any good fireman would do,,i hid behind my truck and laughed,, sorry but it was so funny whatching this pimp shouting at his burning wreck.. The profesionals arrived in time to save nothing of his car,the big mama had taken a taxi, and i sat eating spring rolls..Aint life a bitch..!!! Pimp ???
Now empty i whizzed down to Chesapeake in Virginia,nr. Norfolk, loaded aluminium sheating
and 5 pallets of Paintball equiptment.
The drive home took me through what i think is the prettiest parts of the US,namely the Blue Ridge Mountains the Shenadoah and Appalachian mountains.
Cutting then north before i got to Cincinnati in Kentucky to Indianappolis then Chicago,wher it rained and flooded costing me 3 hours....
Westwards through Wisconsin rounding the twin cities of St Paul and Mineapolis wher it began to snow,,,hey you up there,,winter is finished... 1 foot of fresh snow,so i pussy footed up to Fargo
North dakota then north home,,,Woo Hoo,, i leave tommorrow Sunday for calgary then back to load for Florida,and the sun...
Sorry that their are no photos,,,,i forgot to pack my camara

Friday, April 11, 2008

In Which State..????

Just a silly question,and no cheating!!!! We all know that Washington D.C. is the capitol of the US. But in which state is it ??????

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

And Who Said Truck Drivers Are Just Mindless Chimps..???

We are also very talented dancers. From Left to Right

Big Truck,Rose ( a verticaly challenged girl friend of mine) Me. Koogs. And Lyndon (mouth open as allways)

Would You Buy It....??????

Missleading Text Msg....!!!!!

The Engish language is a multi facetted one,so many dialects and accents,that sometimes my poor brain can't keep up.
I received one morning a text from the bosses wife,a sweet girl,but she tends to text 1, in lower case which i can bearly see.2 in an urban Canadian jargon,,
On this particular morn 1. I was still tired..hadn't had a coffee 2. feeling extremly daft..
The textes went something like this:-

Kim:-- wotz ya odimeter readin
Me:-- ??? How should i know
Kim:-- i need to no wot its readin
Iwas completly baffled and still half asleep
Me :-- Why ??
Kim:-- i need it
Me:-- I dont know,but i'm reading a Robert Ludlum novel, does this help ?
Kim:-- wtf u talkin bout
Me:-- I have know idea poppet,and dont use bad language please
Kim:-- just tell me the odimeter reading in front of ya
Me:-- ??? There's a truck in front of me,not an Oldsmobile, and how should i know what he's
reading ??
Kim :-- u r pissing me off
Me:-- Well if you wrote,as ive asked you in capitles i might be able to read your textes
Kim:-- OH YEH SORRY, WOT IS THE ODIMETER READING
Me:-- Whats that then ??
Kim:-- THE MILLAGE OF THE TRUCK
Me:-- I dont know, i'll work it out for you tho
Kim:-- ITS WRITTEN ON THE DISPLAY IN FRONT OF YA
Me:-- Yes but its in Killometers,,can you work it out then
Kim:-- IM REALLY BUSY TELL ME
Me:-- 136728.5
Me :-- 136728.6
Me:-- 136728.7
Kim:-- GO AWAY IM BUSY
Me:-- Was only trying to be helpful and keep you up to date
1 hour latter
Kim:-- ya truck needs a service
Kim:-- YA TRUCK NEEDS A SERVICE
She's learning
Me:-- Why ?
Kim:-- COZ OFF THE MILLAGE
Me :-- Dont you meen KM
Kim:-- GET A SERVICE THIS TRIP
Me:-- No.
Kim:-- DO AS YA TOLD, COZ OF THE WARENTY
Me:-- We did that last week,you picked me up at Kworth remember
Kim:-- WHY HAVN'T THEY SENT A BILL THEN
Me:-- You do ask me silly things dear,shall i call Kworth for you and ask
Kim:-- SHIT NO,, THEY MIGHT HAVE 4GOTTEN IT
Me:-- Like you did,!!!
Kim:-- GOTTA 1000 THINGS ON MY PLATE AT THE MO
Me:-- Go on a diat then
Kim:-- HA BLOODY HA
Moral off this tale,, dont text Gremmie early in the morning before he's had a cup of Java

Where to Next,,,?????

Just received my next load instructions (still provisional)Start in Winnipeg offload in-Illinios-South Windsor Conneticut-THE BRONKS New York (want danger money to go there)-Landover Maryland.