My Slightly Sideways Look At Life And Trucking In Canada/US

The spelling mistakes add to the charm of this Blog..!! A Blog is like a woman..???? you start at the bottom and work your way up,,,!!!!!

Für min chumpels üs di schwiitz, nim da google übersetze

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Monday, March 31, 2008

US Highway Tip....Not Just For Truckers

If you ever find yourself in the US, travelling up and down thie Interstates,be it in a truck or just doing a road trip with the family. You often find yourself wondering where can i stop tonite? wheres the next gas station,what hotels/motels are their and where???? Well i do,,, So whilst parked one nite in a Walmart parking lot i met a very pretty American trucker lady, one thing lead to another and she gave me a pressy,,,,Gremmie luvs pressies,,, a book,,!!!! Woo Hoo you may think,but its been an absolute god send to me..

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Every exit of the interstates has a brief description,and whether it has trucker facillities, highlighted in red,a real gem and easy to follow

Me And My Little House On The Prarie

Having lived 20 years in Switzerland,and being used to "Their" style of housing,the Canadian wood framed structures appeared slightly flimsy to me... I thought they would be cold,draughty,expensive to heat and downwright instable,,????
Well they're none of those, they are infact warm and cosy and pretty cost effective and very stable,,,they held up well to the 70mph wind gusts this weekend ok.
They also have the " Tardis" look ??? small on the outside,big on the inside..

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As you can see the garden shed is almost as big as the house

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Dinning room + a bathroom are left of the kitche area


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I have my " office" just to the right of the TV

Downstairs are 3 bedrooms,all of a good size, and a 2nd bathroom,,,, So yes i live in a " Tardis"

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Hot Stuff in Vagas ???

After a bit of twit twating arround in Winnipeg i hooked onto a reefer,put my flat deck in for service, and loaded for LA...thats Los Angeles for the not so worldly readers,,
Crossed into the US at the tiny border of Westhope,blink and you'll miss it,,,,I Blinked,, and got told off by customs,,,Ooops,,
Headed then crosscountry to spend the nite in Big Timber ???,,,,I dont make these names up ,,,really ????
My plan was to drive through the Yellowstone Park, home of Yogi Bear???,,,Ok then Boo Boo,,
And i tend to stick to my plans,even tho it had snowed 8 inches over nite.

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Up ahead are the Rockies and Yogi

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he's got to be here somewhere?????

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he does his fishing here,,???

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he's arround this corner then,,,????

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behind those trees maybe,,???

Well i did not find him,so i carried on regardless.. Passed Idaho Falls south through Salt Lake City

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and spent the nite outside Cedar City.. Truely a lovely drive all the way down,and still more beauty to enjoy further south.
The miles sped by so quickly its almost a shame not to stop more often,but i'm a trucker not a tour guide,,,put that bit in,incase my boss reads this,it gives a good impresion....
Within an 8 hour drive, the topography,,,i dont know what it means either,, changes from snow capped mountain ranges to sun scorched deserts,it 's mind blowing..!!!

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did it blow ya mind too,,???

Then like a pheonix out of the ashes, a city appears,in the middle of friggin nowhere, so its desert, desert,rock,desert, LAS VAGAS, desert,desert,rock,desert,rock.

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See i told ya, its desert,desert,Vagas ,rock ,desert

Got Spirit 34 all washed and pollished in tinsel town,and headed on at a snails pace towards LA. California has the shitiest roads,the slowest speed limits,and the most rediculous truck laws...I'll send a letter to Arni,and give him a piece of my mind next time i'm down there,,,,I'll Be Back,,
Arround LA the traffic is pretty much as in Europe,,,F***ed,, to many cars to small roads etc. etc. for us no problem, for many Canada drivers a nitemare,,,,
I found my point of delivery with tons of help from TOM TOM,worth every penny, and ofloaded my Yellow Peas,,used in bird seed,,, a day early.
As i allready had a full reload in San Diego i headed down to the Mexican boarder town that day,called the customer for some local info when he asked if i'd like to load that evening ????
Holy crap i'm now going to be a day and a half ahead of scheduel, a rare luxuary..
24 skids of strawberries and 30 miles north of San Diego latter, i rewarded my self with a slap up meal and a beer (2).

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Heavy traffic running to San Diego

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Gridlocked heading North,,,so i went south !!!!!

Jumped into bed in the best James Bond fashion,only to be disturbed by "strange" noises, so i grabbed my weapon,which was painful, and prepared to attack an intruder,,, Awww i had a Mongoose scurrying arround my truck,so i laid out some biscuit crumbs for him to knibble on,but as i approached with my Cam he scuried of.
Spoke to the boss on Friday morning,and told him of MY new plans,bear in mind i'm 1 1/2 ahead.,, Shall take a slow drive home,cross into Canada at Coutts AB and deliver Tuesday morning in Saskatoon,stopping on Sunday at my friends house in Raymond AB....Lyndon and Jen did not know of this impennding doom at this point,,, Boss paused for 2 seconds and said " Fine by me"
So with two small hops and a skip i headed north,passed through,Vagas again,up into the Virgin Mts, a truely magnificent drive,a must for all truckers and even more so on a motorbike


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Entering the Virgin Canyon Slowly

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Pushing ever onwards

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Deeper in now

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Ahhh a cooling stream of water

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Its getting harder... to go up

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Yeeeeeeeeees,,i'm allmost their

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getting closer to the peak

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Yeh baby it rocks in here

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I know no limits

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Yes,yes ive come through The Virgins Pass

Hope my mum dont read this,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My journey continued at a less torrid rate,up through Utah and Idaho and into Montana,with its beautiful snowcapped Rockies.
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Then the plummit down onto the Montana Prairies.

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I had called Lyndon,,,which i thought was nice of me,, to let him know he should pick me up at the Raymond Truck Plaza,which he did,..
A short tour of Raymond,,,it's that small that it would be impossible to do a long tour,,,,then into his lovely home..
Jen had prepaired a roast dinner that was on a parr with any 5 star Rest. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,, Lamb done to a T,parsnips,roast spuds,mashed spuds,gravy, veggies....i asked her to marry me xxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Lyndon the bugger said no....,,,

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I had a super time was made to feel most welcome,which i paid back by letting Gizzmo the dog escape,,,, Oooops,, he returned an hour latter and got such a telling off that he sulked for a good 10mins...

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That'll teach him to stick his snout in my crutch

We played ping pong,,, Luke warned me that his dad was a saw looser, so i let Lyndon win 3 games to my 1,,, At Pool i kicked his arse tho,,,
A few beers and whiskey,,had never drunk that before,,,but it was free so what the hell eh ??
Then of to bed,, Sunday morning " Mein Host" coocked an old English culenary masterpiece THE FRY UP
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At midday i headed on to Stoon,with a full tummy and a happy heart,, Many many thanks to the 3 of you xxxx

Unloaded my strawberries, a quick reload for Winnipeg and 4 well deserved days at home..
Job Done

Over Weight In Florida,,and Not Coz Of the BBQ Ribs

So back too the Plot
Loaded tuesday my machines for Orlando,this is a trip that we do 1 maybe 2 a month direct for the US importer. A good trip. Crossed the Pembina border,re-did my I94,sort off a US visa thingy. And headed south,no great hurry stopped that nite south of Mineapolis,ate an in cab pique nique, and counted sheep...1...2 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Heading ever onwards and downwards (south) whizzed thru St Louis,dodging cars and trucks as i go,,Woo hoo this is fun ,,over the Missouri ,then past Larry Flints Club ???? Hustler Magazine,, it even has truck parking,very thoughtful i think ,,And yes i will stop their at some time if it pans out thatway.,,
Next nite was Eddyville in Kentucky,
parked at about 6pm,it was a warmish spring eve so i went for a stroll as is my want,,"poetic that last bit,, eh!!!! " plus my legs were tired and needed a stretch So of i trundle, across from the truck stop a Blaring sign WESTERN STEAKS AND RIBS in big red letters,,,so bugger the sroll i'm hungry.,,
Met at the door by a very pleasant youg waitress called Tiff,who would be serving me tonite..she sat me at my table,in the smoking part,,"yes in some states you are still allowed to smoke" and explained what was on the menu and brought my ice cold beer.
On each table "and dont tell Nut eater Lyndon this"a metal pale full of monkey nuts,well im a nut fan to and dived headlong into them...Woo Hoo
I decided on Sizzlin Hot Ribs,,but how many????? Tiff to the rescue!!!
"What you think poppet" i asked "half or full rack of ribs"
i must explain Tiff was very small and thin,,,, an anerexic toothpick had more meet on it,,,
"I stuggle with just 3 ribs" she says...
i had obviously asked the wrong person,but she was a giggle,so with my math and body index i worked out i needed a full rack,plus green beans and a loaded baked spud,plus another beer. And try to resist eating further nuts.
I sat 6mins 35secs starring at the nuts when Tiff reappeared buckling under the strain of my plate of ribs,with a loud thud the plate landed in front of me...Gremmie i thought what have you done...
What Tiff failed to inform me was that the Ribs come from a friggin Elephant
Off trots Tiff to the oxygene tent to recover,and i stare bewillderd at my plate,so it was do or die for me now,so i did.....
Spud was yummy
,beans too
,ribs were cold???,or luke warm!!! at the most,and most def not SIZZLING...
TIFF
i screamed in my best dignyfied British manner... trot trot trot she was their,Awwww,,,
i explained thee dilema,and with a heave hoe my plate was gone. 30secs later a young manageress appairs on the scene of the crime,,,
begs forgiveness and tries to blame Tiff,,,WHAT???,,my pretty little Tiff,
for the cold meat
Well i soon put that little upstart to writes,how dare she blame Tiff. Well the food was great,the beer not bad, and Tiff and i became for 2 hours best friends...Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
I waddled back to the truck so full it hurt thought about strolling again but went to bed instead Fell out of bed the next day in dessparate need of a crap,, not so poetic,,, but true.
Headed off south to warmer climes and at long last managed to get some half descent pics of the Nashville sky line

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Comming from the north with its cold and snow Spirit 34 looked a disgrace,dirty,salty and downright gungy and as we have an account with Blue Beacon Truck washes i swung a hard right at Jackson GA then realised i should have gone left and swung again,,,"quite the little swinger me " I was only the 5th in line so no long wait,,,got chatting to a yank,chewed the cud and trucky talk.
Nice chap an O/D from Wyoming with a load of butter for Miami,and boy did he have a big one ive never seen one that size before,i meen it was long,bloody long...!!!!

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OMG Have you ever seen such a long gearstick So allwashed and spruced up i headed for Orlando....
So dismissing any primative remarks regarding gear sticks children i shall continue
So their i was happily trundling down into Florida,Pink Floyd were dismantling a wall or building one on my radio ???when the announcer bursts into life talking about bike week in Daytona ,,,Woo Hoo me thinks,the boss will most certainly never have a reload till Monday, I'm off to Daytona for the weekend,,, No sooner had i had this joyous thought when i get a text on my cell...
1st pick up friday in Davenport FL @ Richie Bros machine Auctions.... Bugger Bugger.. Have you guys noticed that ya bosses never do what you want
30secs later a 2nd text...my day is going down hill rapidly,,pass the valium ,,,
2nd pick @ same as first but a diff customer.
Hold on boss I'm not even empty for crying out loud... I muttered softly to my self
So with a long face I beetled my way down to my drop in Astatula FL ,,which ain't on all the maps as its so small,,,
As i have the customers security code to get in the yard i dumped my trailer at 10pm and found a bar to drown my sorrows...the bar was closed for renovation,,i cried like a baby,god must hate me i guess
Next day the guys unloaded before i was fully awake,they'd even taken the straps of and rolled them for me,,there is a god then..!!!!
For those don't know who or what Richie Bros are i shall enlighten you.
They are world wide the largest auctioneers of building equipment,offices all over the place,massive. And here in Davenport FL they hold 3 such events a year,,,this being the largest of the 3.. i didn't know all this either till i got there but wished i had....
Turned of the Hwy into a field,more a sea of trucks really,and was designated a parking spot by a chap on a golf cart..i was soon thankful of the golf cart .. Got all ya paperwork ready he asked?? i wanted to make a break for it and run but 20 other trucks had arrived blocking my exit,
So a small convoy of golf carts transported us drivers to the office complex,we passed a column of rigs,,a long long column in fact...2miles friggin long i could feel the tears swell up in my eyes again.. At the office, I resited my buyer numbers,my lot numbers,my truck number,my DOT number i even gave the pretty woman my phone number,,,she didn't call ,,,
Chatting with my golf cart chauffeur he divulged that if i find my lots and can drive said lots to the loading ramps, he'll bump me up the queue.
I did my best James Bond roll of a speeding golf cart,,,!!!!! and began my search. the pic shows only a fraction of the vastness of this place


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,and in there somewhere are 2 telescopic forklifts with my name on them. just a tad to left from here i think

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Well i found em,they started, and woohoo i can drive them..
So 2 machines placed near the loading ramps later i sat in Spirit 34 gazing at the rear end of the truck in front of me in the 2mile long queue,


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and no longer in the holding pen,, oh what fun..
At 3,30pm i was called onto a ramp,which ain't bad as the average waiting time was 2DAYS...and id been their since 9am
Loaded the 2 forklifts on me tod, as no one helps for insurance reasons;,,, this baffled me as well. Chained down and secured,left Richie Bros at 4.30pm,, Alls well that ends well eh,,?? WRONG 30miles up the road the Scales were open.
No prob; I'm grossing 75000lbs. WRONG
I'm grossing 81300lbs and 44300lbs on my spread axles.
Now some of you may have heard what horrible gits the scale guys are...well i say poppycock... he was so friendly when he handed me the 65$ fine and advised me to burn of as much fuel as poss before I get to Georgia scales 194 miles away,or failing that go through between 0300hrs and 0500 as they close then.
And before some clever clogs asks why he didn't impound me ,its simple. In Florida I'm allowed 44,000lbs on the spread; all other states only 40,000lbs. A 65$ fine is 5 cents on the pound gross weight.,,Cheaper at half the price,,,,


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At the FL scales paying my due's.

Checked my route home,oh shit at least 14 more scales to pass through, 4000lbs on the back too much and a 1000 gross (over)weight.,,, I cried a little more.. and wanted my mummy,, Gave Spirit 34 full revs for 190 miles to just short of the first scale,hit the sack. Up at 3am,and prayed..they were closed in Georgia Woo Hoo..i love you Florida scale man!!
Approached Atlanta remembering I'd seen a Komatsu dealers close to the Hwy; yes their's a car parked out front on a Saturday!! Cut across 2 lanes to make the off ramp, swung right down the frontage road . Knocked on the door and a young coloured chap listened to my plight and agreed to let me turn the rear machine around using his ramp and scales..their is a god.. Paid the good fellow 10 bucks and left now only 39000lbs on the rear but still over on the gross, but only by 800lbs. So now faced with the dilemma of driving all the way home on less than half tanks till the border. Well i survived this torture all the way up to around the Fergus Falls Mn area, where the weather went from warm and sunny to F'ing cold and icy. Add wind to the picture and the roads became ice rinks,,the snow had blown onto the hwy melted in the sun then froze;,cars trucks and snowploughs exited left right and center. It was beyond words within an hour there were well over 200 accidents,mostly just spin offs into the white fluffy stuff. I stopped in Fargo' F J. Why isn't Lyndon here??? He's always here! The daft bugger was sat at the border in Portal picking his nose...
Up early the next day as i had a date,,,a dinner date..Woo Hoo.. Ok, Lyndon and i met in the middle of nowhere and he paid for a very MINI pizza and coffee,,,,WOW the last of the big spenders ,,,He's a great bloke, dafter than a bog brush, and a dear friend, so I'm allowed to say things about him like that coz thats what mates do... So after a good chat,and kiss and cuddles (yuk!!) we parted company,,,I even think he had a tear in his eye! Me, i was glad to see the back of him as i was still hungry Luv ya pal!
Got through customs ok and spent the night in Regina SK ,,,,it smells how it sounds,,.
Arrived in Saskatchewan to meet my 1st customer at the Husky house there. My boss was slightly miffed at both customers due to the overweight plus the length of both machines,the figures did not tally. So i weighed after each drop and re-measured both items.. The orange one at the rear was the culprit; 8 feet longer than spec and 5500lbs heavier. Woo Hoo - I'm empty,but not for long...
First drop guy has a load for Edmonton..for dare i say it..Richie Bros. NO NO NO not that again please.
He assured me that the Edmonton sales are tiny compared to the Florida one's so i loaded what can only be described as a dogs dinner load.


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Edmonton went smoothly got a reload of plate steel back to Stoon, then home from there empty. Only to find out that dispatch had/has a load of hay for Chicago lined up... 'And my days off; what happened to them?' I screamed at my dashboard.,, Plus the wheel alignment eh ?? The dashboard remained silent.. So i rang in and said NOPE, We reached a compromise - i loaded Friday morning, only 20miles from home & took Spirit 34 to Kworth up at the Peg where Kim the bosses wife met me and brought me home til noon Monday,, See, a diplomatic NOPE always works So dear reader's thats the plan. Hay to Chicago area ,________________