Had enough of this,,,

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

December 8: 6:00 PM

. It started to snow. The first snow of the season andthe wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma MosesPrint. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow coveringevery inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be alovelier place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've everhad. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I didboth our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12:

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment.My neighbour tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas.No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't thinkthat's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbour.

December 14:

Snow, lovely snow, 8" last night! The temperature dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away,but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This-is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn'trealize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainlyget back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. Ithink that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16

. Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in thedriveway putting down salt, Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour,which I think was very cruel.

December 17:

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit, it to her. God Ihate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my ownliving room.

December 20.

Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shovelling. Took all day. Freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbours kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow-blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22:

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inchesthe white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt tillAugust. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again.I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23:

Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she. nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24:

6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over whereI've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin'snowplow.

December 25:

Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%'~& slop tonight.Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time,I'm going to kill her.

December 26:

Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27:

Temperature dropped to -30:and the pipes froze.

December 28:

Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29:

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it couldcave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think Iam?

December 30:

Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a milliondollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9"predicted.

December 31:

Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling!

January 8:

I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keepgiving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Our New Friend

hee hee we have a new friend in the garden on this snowy blustery day

Long Over Due Update

Ok folks,im back my typing finger is itching to write a load of drivel for your merryment.

Louise and i are all moved in to our new home,every thing is in place. so i thought it time to let you all see the new pad..

The garden will be turfed and landscaped come spring time, as you can see bit snowy at the mo

Some of the inside of our house,ensuite bathroom, open plan lounge and kitchen.

Up Date

So whats new in the world,well Nov 15 th is moving day and the weather looks like its going to be crappy...its snowing as i type..
As to my physical well beeing,im still as daft as a bog brush,,,but my arm is doing well..I,m pumping iron and am now upto 3kg weights,,,
I need another small OP,a quick snip snip to free up some tendons that are caught up in scar tissue. And its scar tissue that is my biggest enemy at this time in the healing process, its the bodies way of repairing after a massive traume,but it makes any movement in my armand hand quite painfull and difficult...
We shall endure the pain,keep doing the therapy,pull on the weights,hold back the tears and get as fit as poss...
Again many thanks to all the well wishes from all over the globe... Woo Hoo im a star

Up Date,,,

Ok time for an up date on my physical condition...we shant even touch my mental sittuation, daft as a bog brush is the medical term... Therapy is going well, i managed today to lift a 1kg. 2lb weight in my right hand,and believe me im not joking here..
I will also need 2 small operations,to free up my tendons that are stuck in scar tissue,they make a quick cut,clean out the gunge,a few stitches then bobs ya uncle...

NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED

I would like to take a moment to thank all the well wishers ,the therapy is going well,,i just get very frustrated some times..

In the hospital in Atlanta..the bed was cool,,lots of buttons to play with...

Ive thought long and hard about this,and am only showing these pics in the hope that none of you drink and drive..im not going for the sympathy vote.. i got away lucky..

This is the doner site on my right leg for the skin graft,,that hurt..

Im only showing a small section of the arm injury,,coz i tend to feel sick when i see it so dont want to shock you to mutch,,but just may be some of you will stop and think next time you have a drink and drive !!!!!!!!!!!!

1000th OF A SECOND

Aug 11th

I called Spirit driver Brian who i new would be in Georgia,just south of Chattanooga, and arranged to meet at the J for coffee and a chit chat...the tight bugger didnt even pay..
He would be loading near by so was killing time at the J flirting on the internet ?????
We said our goodbyes as i needed and wanted to get another 200 miles under my belt today,was in no great hurry, just like to keep my daily quota up..

Rounded Atlanta swung down onto the I75 south,,woo hoo not much traffic making good time,good musik pumping out my speakers,the sun beating down,good times...

Cheaked my mirror,,bum one of the load straps has loosend and is dragging close to the trailer wheels,so i pulled well of on the hard shoulder..got out and began tightening the rouge strap

1000th of a SECOND

Pain,,,,,excrutiating pain,,,hot searing sensation,im crying ,shouting ,swearing,why ????
STOP THIS PAIN
I,m on the floor,no im laying on the interstate looking under my trailer ?????
I scramble to safety under my trailer,,,SHIT THIS PAIN,,please some one stop and help me,cant you see me here???? under here waiving ?????
A blonde haired woman appeared,Dixi, cell to her ear shouting instructions and directions,she holds my hand ,words of comfort,she needs my name ??? how old am i ?? PAIN,,, PLEASE STOP THE PAIN
Distant sirens,Dixi assures me they will be here in 2 minutes,they arrive, more questions, they move me ,NO THE PAIN ,STOP PLEASE,GIVE ME A SHOT
Another rescue vehical arrives,i get my first shot and placed on a streacher then into an ambulance,i get a second shot,the pain subdues,every thing blurs,a hellicopter.......................................................................................................................

Aug 13th

I hear voices,strange voices,strange room,strange bed,strange dream this ??? all in HD,perfect sound and vision with smells. Strange people here,where am i ?? i,m told my fiance is here ??????
Louise appears,her eyes red from crying,Debs too,,??? small memories begin to form in my head
slowly getting an idea,i hold Louise and cry and cry and cry.
My right arm is in a large cast and bandage,my left arm is blue and violette,,, I,M ALIVE..

Sept 12 th
I,m home at Louises, 3 opperations and a skin graft latter, i still get flash backs ,i need months of therapy to learn to re-use my arm and fingers,, the doctors in the Grady Memorial Hospital,which has one of the best trauma units in the whole of the US,saved my arm,reconected arteries and tendons screwed bones together,planted skin over what was left of my fore arm,,.
I have so many people that i should thank,
All the nurses and docs on floor 6B
To my darling Louise and Deb
To Kim my boss who blubberd every day till she new i was safe
And my friends that called and texted me daily whilst i lay 3 weeks in an Atlanta hospital..
The future is un clear,but im happy and alive.

1000th of a second

So what happend ????
A driver of a Dodge Ram truck,whilst talking on his cell,whilst driving under the influence of alchahol, drove with approx 80 miles an hour half on the hard shoulder,missed the rear of my trailer but clipped me with his mirrors almost ripping my right arm off. He just drove on oblivious to his deeds,lucky for me a whitness got his number, he was arrested and charged.

Weekend on the Lake

What does a hard working good looking hunky macho trucker do on his days of,,,???? He goes for a dirty weekend up on the lake with his girlfriend.... OMG who are you trying to kid,all those explitives and now you claim to have friends too..???

Any way,,,, the original plan was that my g/f and her best friend go to the lake and visit her famly that have a pontoon boat there.. So out the kindness of their hearts they let Steve and i tag along. Well they begged that we came along as we are both good looking hunky etc.. keep to the truth will you for crying out loud,,,

We bought loads of booze and really big steaks to throw onto the grill,even bought new super sexy swimm trunks... brite yellow,looks like a swimming canary.
What the girls failed to mention was that all 4 of us would share 1 double room,,so no nite of endless passion,,

We met the family,all very friendly and nice people, hitched up the boat and set forth to explore the lake,,,

Our ships captain Phil,,hey thanks bud for letting us tag along


My future mode of transport

Sunset across the lake

After sunsett fireworks on the lake,,this was magical,,with hundreds of pleasure craft all bobbing on the calm waters as above us the sky burst into a pyrotechnic ballet..






These little Chipmonks provided hours of enjoyment..

Well all good things must come to an end,and its back to work,pounding out the miles.

I am at this time in Louisville Kentucky unloading a machine in the morning,then head for Florida to offload the rest..

Welcome to Canada Steve and Harry

OMG there goes the neighberhood...Steve and Harry ( these arent their real names) arrived on the 8 of this month...and me being a really nice chap,went and met these 2 degenerates from Germany...mistake number 1
I knew my girl friend and i should have had better things to do on a sunny Winnipeg sunday,but we searched our souls and went and picked these 2 shifty yobs up at their Hotel....mistake number 2
We stuffed them into the back seat of the car,switched on the child locks and sped away before any one recognised us.. Steve being a Britt chatted non stop whilst Harry, German, sat quietly, a bit shy of using his english...We took them to the Forks.. a pretty park in town with cafes and bars, we chatted and ate a meal had a few beers....mistake number 3 ....Then took them back to their Hotel..
The following week we all chatted on msn,and decided to meet the following friday...mistake number 4,....as Louise had a single girl friend,that might like one of these two....which she did....no accounting for taste..!!!???
Well as im the only one of us who seems to work i arrived latter at the bar to find,these 2 newbies doing there best to drink Winnipeg dry and flirting badly with a Canadian lass... we all left later and had a night cap at Louises pad,where the flirting continued....badly
We arranged to go to the Morris Stampede, the following day...which we all thoughly enjoyed.....the poor flirting continued,,,
And the girls out of the goodness of their hearts, decided to help the 2 poor misfits with furniture and house hold goods to help set up home together,as they now had a flat and not one piece of furniture....mistake number ,,,oh whos counting any way
Well the 2 retards took and ,well i wont say they failed there Class1 tests..!! but they didnt pass either...ooops ....but the flirting has improved .. ???? Rumour has it a kiss took place and hands have been held..???
We are all going upto the lake over the long weekend, i hope by then they will have both passed their tests and begin driving as a team for Trans X.....earning the big bucks,,coz they will be paying for a slap up meal for my girl friend and i...

Welcome to Canada Steve and Harry

Not so easy Where am i Quiz

Yeah i know others do this on their Bloggs to,,but Lyndons are so easy,,so try finding out where i took these pics,,?????



Try boarding this casino

Flippers City ??????

Now this is tooooooooooooooo easy



As is this one,,,!!!!!!

No where near the coast here...??????
Going to a large Port...but which one ?????
Bush must love having this building here
If in doubt add an axel,,at which Border Xing tho

Only For Realy Clever People..????

Only great minds can read this....... fi yuo cna..Olny 55 ploepe out of 100 can,i cdnuolt blveiee taht i cloud aulactly uesdnatnrd waht i was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it dseno,t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the fsrit and the lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe...
Azanmig huh ??? yaeh and i awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorant !!!!!!!

Now laugh at my bad spelling

Reflections...1 year in Canada

Well ive been here almost a year,and its time to take stock.
Life has been pretty good thus far,seen some great things,been to some amazing places,and heard some wierd things..?????
You may have seen and read of some of my exploits,but some of the things ive heard here,well they take my breath away at times.
1) Met 2 young guys in kentucky with whome i shared a beer or 3.!!!!
the first asked where my accent came from,and before i could reply his buddy chimed in and stated " hes european,they all sound the same ""
he was under the impression that Europe is a country in its self ????
2) Whilst sat in a truck stop waiting for my order to arrive,the waitress asked "" how was every thing "" meaning is the food good or not,,,????????
3) An old timer in Alabama suggested i try the apple pie " its the best in the whole godamm world here "" when i asked him if he had tried apple pie in france or Italy or any where else for that matter,he admited he had never been more that 60 miles from his home town,,he was 78 years old,,????
4) The menu at the TA truck stop said " Al dente pasta with a beef and mushroom sauce " yummy thought i .and boldly orderd... what came was infact a not bad beef stew with mushrooms in a thick brown sauce,which coverd the sogiest tastless pasta Butterflies i,d ever put in my mouth...I called for the chef,,a spotty teanager arrived..??? " Whats wrong?" acne face asked,, " The pasta," i said " they should be al dente" "well " he replied " we,ve only got those Butterfly pasta,s , no al dente ones "..??????????

The average American will gladly inform you of how "Great" thier country is,but as only 2% of all americans hold a passport,they have nothing to compare it with. A vast majority take their guns to work with them, ??? why ?? because they feel safer !!!!! There is a major court case going on right now because the workers at Disney World in Orlando FL arent allowed too,.

Things here are a lot different than Europe,and i,m having great fun finding new things daily.
But they do talk a load of crap at times...

Eating in North America

OMG .... This is a sour subject with me..i love food,but good food..
to get good food in Canada or America you have to pay a fortune or cook it your self,,
or you like me will be dissapointed at every meal.

1)Breakfasts,well theyve got those of pretty good,except for the bacon. It will arrive on ya plate no matter how many times you ask for soft bacon,soooooooooooo crispy that if dropped from 6 inches it will shatter both the plate and its self

2)I like a steak rare,,very bloody rare.. it has been known for me to refuse 3 steaks till i get it rare,which doesnt go down to well with the kitchen staff...!!!!!

3)Salads.... a good fresh salad can be had almost any where,the problem are the bland tastless dressings that add 10,000 callories to the meal. Olive oil is only known as popeyes gal friend and not as an ingrediant to a salad sauce..????

4) Cheases,,, sniff ..sniff,, dont exsist...oh youll get a square piece of tastless orange or beige cardboard that the menu describes as "Swiss" or "Cheader" but thats it as far as chease culture goes

Water,,the beauty and the beast !!!

These are some views and images of water in its many forms,,, some beautiful , some impressive, some ugly,,!!!!!

Prairie storms,

The wonderful Rockies

The Frassure Canyon,,from Cache Creek to Hope in BC.

The Floods of the mid-west

Is A Truck A Living Thing ???

Why should i pose such a deep and meeningful qustion,when most of what i write is utter drivel???
Well i think my truck has its own Spirit,,,off course it does you bimbo,you drive for Spirit..!!!
Thats not what i ment,i think my truck has its own Spirit and a will of its own......
Why ????
Last sunday whilst emptying my pretty beast i lost my cell phone,,no ,i should rephrase that, my truck ate my cell phone ????
She gobbled it up and did her darndest not to let me have it back...
After 20mins of searching my cell was located in the front heater vent,tucked deep in the bowels of dash board,,???
So with lots of cursing and cussing,the only way to retrieve my phone was to dismantle just about everything,to drill holes in the heating ducts,pass bent wire coat hangers through and hope and pray that my cell would pop out at some time...
5 hours latter,it popped out,,my trucks now resembled a sieve,, with bits missing..
Why would my truck be so nasty to me,,??? maybe coz i call her names,and dont get on to well with her,, hell knows no fury like a woman scorned,, so i'll try and be really nice to her,and maybe she wont eat my things....

Cross Country Ramblings

Partof myload,,a tridem trailer bound for a marina in Clinton CN

Took my first load cross country,heading east,not going via the US but taking the shorter route through Ontario...Ive been to Toronto before and was not to impressed,so expected no great things of the rest of Ontario,,,,,Ooops

How wrong could i have been..??? its just sooooooo pretty..

There is just one pretty lake after another intersperrsed with pine forests,,long empty highways with bouncing Bambis and bears,,yes a real life Yogi galloped in front of me,all big brown and fluffy,,so cute !!!!!

Stopped ot a local hostelry,that was most friendly and very accomodating,so much so i was allowed to lick a one of the chicks there ????????

See,,me licking a chick on a stick

Its a long drive going this way using the trans canada,speed limits are strictly enforced,and its all only 2 lane,but i still made good time and crossed into the states at the cornwall border,,,

Once into the US i went to bed,,up early tho 3am to run down thru New York state then New Hampshire,into a load of false teeth ???? Mass o chew sets ??? made a quick delivery just south of Boston,,then stopped for tea. We are so civilized here .. Called my customer in Clinton CN,who gave a few tips on how best to drive to his marina,and arrived there safe and dry to unload straight off,,

It was so nice to deliver to a customer that was not only friendly but allso had respect for a driver,i was offerd pizza and use of the showers and phone without even asking,,,10 points for those guys...

Empty,i called in for my reload,which was in Willmington in Delaware,that happens to be south of New York City,,,oh bugger.

There is no good way to navigate through NYC,only less yucky ways..so i implemented plan B, which was to go to bed....then leave at 3am and blast through the middle when there would be slightly less traffic..

My master plan paid of well and arrived at my pick up point in good time,,,10 points for me!!

Once loaded,my brain when into happy mode,after having been out for 3 weeks i was going home,,and 4 days off to ,1 cut my lawn ,which was now 16inches tall...2 pay my bills..3 do my washing 4 do some shopping,,5 do some women ???? 6 have a bloody well erned rest 7 write up my blog,,,

Well ive done most of the above,,not telling which are still pending..