Over Weight In Florida,,and Not Coz Of the BBQ Ribs

So back too the Plot
Loaded tuesday my machines for Orlando,this is a trip that we do 1 maybe 2 a month direct for the US importer. A good trip. Crossed the Pembina border,re-did my I94,sort off a US visa thingy. And headed south,no great hurry stopped that nite south of Mineapolis,ate an in cab pique nique, and counted sheep...1...2 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Heading ever onwards and downwards (south) whizzed thru St Louis,dodging cars and trucks as i go,,Woo hoo this is fun ,,over the Missouri ,then past Larry Flints Club ???? Hustler Magazine,, it even has truck parking,very thoughtful i think ,,And yes i will stop their at some time if it pans out thatway.,,
Next nite was Eddyville in Kentucky,
parked at about 6pm,it was a warmish spring eve so i went for a stroll as is my want,,"poetic that last bit,, eh!!!! " plus my legs were tired and needed a stretch So of i trundle, across from the truck stop a Blaring sign WESTERN STEAKS AND RIBS in big red letters,,,so bugger the sroll i'm hungry.,,
Met at the door by a very pleasant youg waitress called Tiff,who would be serving me tonite..she sat me at my table,in the smoking part,,"yes in some states you are still allowed to smoke" and explained what was on the menu and brought my ice cold beer.
On each table "and dont tell Nut eater Lyndon this"a metal pale full of monkey nuts,well im a nut fan to and dived headlong into them...Woo Hoo
I decided on Sizzlin Hot Ribs,,but how many????? Tiff to the rescue!!!
"What you think poppet" i asked "half or full rack of ribs"
i must explain Tiff was very small and thin,,,, an anerexic toothpick had more meet on it,,,
"I stuggle with just 3 ribs" she says...
i had obviously asked the wrong person,but she was a giggle,so with my math and body index i worked out i needed a full rack,plus green beans and a loaded baked spud,plus another beer. And try to resist eating further nuts.
I sat 6mins 35secs starring at the nuts when Tiff reappeared buckling under the strain of my plate of ribs,with a loud thud the plate landed in front of me...Gremmie i thought what have you done...
What Tiff failed to inform me was that the Ribs come from a friggin Elephant
Off trots Tiff to the oxygene tent to recover,and i stare bewillderd at my plate,so it was do or die for me now,so i did.....
Spud was yummy
,beans too
,ribs were cold???,or luke warm!!! at the most,and most def not SIZZLING...
TIFF
i screamed in my best dignyfied British manner... trot trot trot she was their,Awwww,,,
i explained thee dilema,and with a heave hoe my plate was gone. 30secs later a young manageress appairs on the scene of the crime,,,
begs forgiveness and tries to blame Tiff,,,WHAT???,,my pretty little Tiff,
for the cold meat
Well i soon put that little upstart to writes,how dare she blame Tiff. Well the food was great,the beer not bad, and Tiff and i became for 2 hours best friends...Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
I waddled back to the truck so full it hurt thought about strolling again but went to bed instead Fell out of bed the next day in dessparate need of a crap,, not so poetic,,, but true.
Headed off south to warmer climes and at long last managed to get some half descent pics of the Nashville sky line




Comming from the north with its cold and snow Spirit 34 looked a disgrace,dirty,salty and downright gungy and as we have an account with Blue Beacon Truck washes i swung a hard right at Jackson GA then realised i should have gone left and swung again,,,"quite the little swinger me " I was only the 5th in line so no long wait,,,got chatting to a yank,chewed the cud and trucky talk.
Nice chap an O/D from Wyoming with a load of butter for Miami,and boy did he have a big one ive never seen one that size before,i meen it was long,bloody long...!!!!



OMG Have you ever seen such a long gearstick So allwashed and spruced up i headed for Orlando....
So dismissing any primative remarks regarding gear sticks children i shall continue
So their i was happily trundling down into Florida,Pink Floyd were dismantling a wall or building one on my radio ???when the announcer bursts into life talking about bike week in Daytona ,,,Woo Hoo me thinks,the boss will most certainly never have a reload till Monday, I'm off to Daytona for the weekend,,, No sooner had i had this joyous thought when i get a text on my cell...
1st pick up friday in Davenport FL @ Richie Bros machine Auctions.... Bugger Bugger.. Have you guys noticed that ya bosses never do what you want
30secs later a 2nd text...my day is going down hill rapidly,,pass the valium ,,,
2nd pick @ same as first but a diff customer.
Hold on boss I'm not even empty for crying out loud... I muttered softly to my self
So with a long face I beetled my way down to my drop in Astatula FL ,,which ain't on all the maps as its so small,,,
As i have the customers security code to get in the yard i dumped my trailer at 10pm and found a bar to drown my sorrows...the bar was closed for renovation,,i cried like a baby,god must hate me i guess
Next day the guys unloaded before i was fully awake,they'd even taken the straps of and rolled them for me,,there is a god then..!!!!
For those don't know who or what Richie Bros are i shall enlighten you.
They are world wide the largest auctioneers of building equipment,offices all over the place,massive. And here in Davenport FL they hold 3 such events a year,,,this being the largest of the 3.. i didn't know all this either till i got there but wished i had....
Turned of the Hwy into a field,more a sea of trucks really,and was designated a parking spot by a chap on a golf cart..i was soon thankful of the golf cart .. Got all ya paperwork ready he asked?? i wanted to make a break for it and run but 20 other trucks had arrived blocking my exit,
So a small convoy of golf carts transported us drivers to the office complex,we passed a column of rigs,,a long long column in fact...2miles friggin long i could feel the tears swell up in my eyes again.. At the office, I resited my buyer numbers,my lot numbers,my truck number,my DOT number i even gave the pretty woman my phone number,,,she didn't call ,,,
Chatting with my golf cart chauffeur he divulged that if i find my lots and can drive said lots to the loading ramps, he'll bump me up the queue.
I did my best James Bond roll of a speeding golf cart,,,!!!!! and began my search. the pic shows only a fraction of the vastness of this place




,and in there somewhere are 2 telescopic forklifts with my name on them. just a tad to left from here i think



Well i found em,they started, and woohoo i can drive them..
So 2 machines placed near the loading ramps later i sat in Spirit 34 gazing at the rear end of the truck in front of me in the 2mile long queue,




and no longer in the holding pen,, oh what fun..
At 3,30pm i was called onto a ramp,which ain't bad as the average waiting time was 2DAYS...and id been their since 9am
Loaded the 2 forklifts on me tod, as no one helps for insurance reasons;,,, this baffled me as well. Chained down and secured,left Richie Bros at 4.30pm,, Alls well that ends well eh,,?? WRONG 30miles up the road the Scales were open.
No prob; I'm grossing 75000lbs. WRONG
I'm grossing 81300lbs and 44300lbs on my spread axles.
Now some of you may have heard what horrible gits the scale guys are...well i say poppycock... he was so friendly when he handed me the 65$ fine and advised me to burn of as much fuel as poss before I get to Georgia scales 194 miles away,or failing that go through between 0300hrs and 0500 as they close then.
And before some clever clogs asks why he didn't impound me ,its simple. In Florida I'm allowed 44,000lbs on the spread; all other states only 40,000lbs. A 65$ fine is 5 cents on the pound gross weight.,,Cheaper at half the price,,,,




At the FL scales paying my due's.

Checked my route home,oh shit at least 14 more scales to pass through, 4000lbs on the back too much and a 1000 gross (over)weight.,,, I cried a little more.. and wanted my mummy,, Gave Spirit 34 full revs for 190 miles to just short of the first scale,hit the sack. Up at 3am,and prayed..they were closed in Georgia Woo Hoo..i love you Florida scale man!!
Approached Atlanta remembering I'd seen a Komatsu dealers close to the Hwy; yes their's a car parked out front on a Saturday!! Cut across 2 lanes to make the off ramp, swung right down the frontage road . Knocked on the door and a young coloured chap listened to my plight and agreed to let me turn the rear machine around using his ramp and scales..their is a god.. Paid the good fellow 10 bucks and left now only 39000lbs on the rear but still over on the gross, but only by 800lbs. So now faced with the dilemma of driving all the way home on less than half tanks till the border. Well i survived this torture all the way up to around the Fergus Falls Mn area, where the weather went from warm and sunny to F'ing cold and icy. Add wind to the picture and the roads became ice rinks,,the snow had blown onto the hwy melted in the sun then froze;,cars trucks and snowploughs exited left right and center. It was beyond words within an hour there were well over 200 accidents,mostly just spin offs into the white fluffy stuff. I stopped in Fargo' F J. Why isn't Lyndon here??? He's always here! The daft bugger was sat at the border in Portal picking his nose...
Up early the next day as i had a date,,,a dinner date..Woo Hoo.. Ok, Lyndon and i met in the middle of nowhere and he paid for a very MINI pizza and coffee,,,,WOW the last of the big spenders ,,,He's a great bloke, dafter than a bog brush, and a dear friend, so I'm allowed to say things about him like that coz thats what mates do... So after a good chat,and kiss and cuddles (yuk!!) we parted company,,,I even think he had a tear in his eye! Me, i was glad to see the back of him as i was still hungry Luv ya pal!
Got through customs ok and spent the night in Regina SK ,,,,it smells how it sounds,,.
Arrived in Saskatchewan to meet my 1st customer at the Husky house there. My boss was slightly miffed at both customers due to the overweight plus the length of both machines,the figures did not tally. So i weighed after each drop and re-measured both items.. The orange one at the rear was the culprit; 8 feet longer than spec and 5500lbs heavier. Woo Hoo - I'm empty,but not for long...
First drop guy has a load for Edmonton..for dare i say it..Richie Bros. NO NO NO not that again please.
He assured me that the Edmonton sales are tiny compared to the Florida one's so i loaded what can only be described as a dogs dinner load.





Edmonton went smoothly got a reload of plate steel back to Stoon, then home from there empty. Only to find out that dispatch had/has a load of hay for Chicago lined up... 'And my days off; what happened to them?' I screamed at my dashboard.,, Plus the wheel alignment eh ?? The dashboard remained silent.. So i rang in and said NOPE, We reached a compromise - i loaded Friday morning, only 20miles from home & took Spirit 34 to Kworth up at the Peg where Kim the bosses wife met me and brought me home til noon Monday,, See, a diplomatic NOPE always works So dear reader's thats the plan. Hay to Chicago area ,________________